Sometimes, in sports and in life, you're upside down for no reason. You can either be sour and miserable, or you can be fucking thrilled about it like the guy in green.
05 February 2009
Being Upside Down
Sometimes, in sports and in life, you're upside down for no reason. You can either be sour and miserable, or you can be fucking thrilled about it like the guy in green.
25 January 2009
Bologna Gum
The idea that someone thought anyone would want this makes me hate humanity and welcome an instant and sweeping death to all life on this planet.
Also, it's remarkably sad that this packaged misery had to be livened up with an "INSPECTED BY DEPT. OF BUBBLEGUM" stamp. I mean, in an ideal world, how am I supposed to react to that? "OH, WHOA! I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THAT AT FIRST! DEPARTMENT OF BUBBLEGUM. THEY ARE REALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH HERE WITH THIS RICH, COMPLEX CONCEPT. I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST FIVE POWDERY DISCS OF THAT HARD, CRUNCHY KIND OF BUBBLEGUM, BUT CLEARLY, IT'S SO MUCH MORE. I'M WITNESSING A MASTERFUL EXECUTION OF MODERN PARODY. AND, IT'S GUM! NOW I CAN VICARIOUSLY EAT PROCESSED LUNCH MEAT WHEN I'M NOT ACTUALLY EATING PROCESSED LUNCH MEAT, WHICH IS ONLY A FEW HOURS OUT OF MY WAKING DAY, BUT STILL..."
05 January 2009
Jordache Commercials
I guess Jordache Jeans had about forty-three dollars and some Sbarro coupons to spend on their commercials in the eighties. They also thought it was a good idea to tackle some hard-hitting "issues" that teens face every day. Such issues include: hating your mom, running away, falling in love, breaking up, and... witnessing the death of an old man you befriended. Wait... what?
28 December 2008
10 December 2008
03 December 2008
02 December 2008
17 November 2008
31 October 2008
30 October 2008
24 October 2008
What Friendly's Thinks Kids Think Is Cool
Eighteen years is a long time in a rapidly-evolving cultural landscape, but even amid massive shifts in everything from media and technology to aesthetics and attitude, Friendly's has managed to stay gay.
1989
2007
1989
2007
14 October 2008
23 September 2008
05 September 2008
You Gadhafi Be Kidding Me
Rice meets with Libyan leader Gadhafi
via CNN
Damn but Bad Boy Moammar is straight MACKING on Condi. In case, you're too lazy to read the article about Condoleezza Rice's recent trip to Libya, let me pluck a few choice sentences:
"Gadhafi, wearing a white robe and a black fez but not his trademark dark sunglasses, shook the hands of the male members of Rice's staff but not Rice, instead offering the traditional greeting of his hand over his heart for her."
WHAT UP, PLAY-YER. Showin' your soft side by not sportin' the shades. Cool. Cool. Put your hand on your heart for her. That's like sweet-talkin' without tha' talkin', homeboy. Hella nice moves.
"After their meeting, Rice joined Gadhafi, who once called Rice 'Leeza ... my darling black African woman,' in a traditional Muslim evening meal breaking the fast during the holy month of Ramadan."
It's true that girls love romantic dinners, but CNN staffer Elise Labott CLEARLY wants this hook up to happen. Why else would she mention that "once" Tha' Rad Gad called Condi his darling Black African woman? Play it up, Labott. Fucking milk it, girl. You don't write the news. YOU MAKE IT. I CANNOT BLAME YOU FOR TRYING TO INSINUATE THAT GADHAFI WANTS TO SLEEP WITH RICE RICE BABY. AM I RIGHT OR AM I MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT?
"'I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders,' he said. 'I love her very much ... because she's a black woman of African origin.'"
The two are expected to meet in the leader's Bedouin tent he favors for high-profile meetings."
OH YEAH. WHAT'S GOIN' DOWN IN THE TENT?? I guess we have to let our imaginations run wild with this one. It won't be too hard since I just read about how much Moammar loves Leeza.
The rest of the article is blah blah terrorist bombings this, political prisoners that. SNOOZE BUTTON.
via CNN
Damn but Bad Boy Moammar is straight MACKING on Condi. In case, you're too lazy to read the article about Condoleezza Rice's recent trip to Libya, let me pluck a few choice sentences:
"Gadhafi, wearing a white robe and a black fez but not his trademark dark sunglasses, shook the hands of the male members of Rice's staff but not Rice, instead offering the traditional greeting of his hand over his heart for her."
WHAT UP, PLAY-YER. Showin' your soft side by not sportin' the shades. Cool. Cool. Put your hand on your heart for her. That's like sweet-talkin' without tha' talkin', homeboy. Hella nice moves.
"After their meeting, Rice joined Gadhafi, who once called Rice 'Leeza ... my darling black African woman,' in a traditional Muslim evening meal breaking the fast during the holy month of Ramadan."
It's true that girls love romantic dinners, but CNN staffer Elise Labott CLEARLY wants this hook up to happen. Why else would she mention that "once" Tha' Rad Gad called Condi his darling Black African woman? Play it up, Labott. Fucking milk it, girl. You don't write the news. YOU MAKE IT. I CANNOT BLAME YOU FOR TRYING TO INSINUATE THAT GADHAFI WANTS TO SLEEP WITH RICE RICE BABY. AM I RIGHT OR AM I MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT?
"'I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders,' he said. 'I love her very much ... because she's a black woman of African origin.'"
The two are expected to meet in the leader's Bedouin tent he favors for high-profile meetings."
OH YEAH. WHAT'S GOIN' DOWN IN THE TENT?? I guess we have to let our imaginations run wild with this one. It won't be too hard since I just read about how much Moammar loves Leeza.
The rest of the article is blah blah terrorist bombings this, political prisoners that. SNOOZE BUTTON.
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